These Actions of Mine

I have nothing else to give you

only my fear inside

for my emotions have run us dry

and I feel so helpless to these things in my mind

wanting to undress myself from my own sins

wanting to be anything but what I’ve become

I need to feel that need

of something to fit myself into.

And I find it so hard to understand these actions of mine…

when I just want to fly away from it all

from my shame and my shadows

those things I keep hidden in the black petals

in the gated gardens tucked away somewhere in my shadowy mind.

I want to be where no one can reach me

want to hear only poetry of silence in the world outside.

Oh how I hate these actions of mine…

I long for the kindness of the people of yesterday

but the seasons have changed into the spring of diappointment

and mirrors only reflect to y0u all the things you hadn’t become

just mistakes

and mistakes all over again

Oh how I hate these actions of mine